I just wanna dance, drink and let go
There are things people wish for, but only because it’s politically/ ethically correct to make such wishes. I know I wished for it many many times, over and over again; I might have even gotten emotional when I knew it wasn’t granted. Nonetheless, it’s a wish I didn’t really want. I’ve known it all along, but since it wouldn’t be too right not wanting it, I’ve kept convincing myself that I’d regret not wanting. In the process I wounded myself and some of my loved ones. I’m solely and wholly responsible.
Now, when nothing’s left, I find myself amazingly calm and relieved. Perhaps a little bit lost. So what do I do, now that there’s nothing else behind or above me? I bet she thought I’d cry or something. I almost did, but did not in the end. People respect it, I despise it. People covet it, I just wanna get rid of it. People consider it privilege, I consider it chains. So please, you don’t need to feel bad for me. Don’t even let me see your tears or pitiful eyes. I made my decisions, and I chose this.
I’ve never been a happier person in my life. I decide how it goes, I decide how I live it. I decide what my priorities are. And I’m speaking from the bottom of my heart. I’m crying, but not from regrets or anything. I’m crying because it’s something to cry about. I’m crying more out of relief, out of freedom.
Of course, don’t take it as I’ve given up on my life. No, I hate giving up, and I’m far from that. I’ve never been more determined. I’ve never been more excited about my future.